Kimberly says it so well. These personal narrative pieces you’re posting are starting to carry a story forth.
This piece turns in the final lines. We get to see inside your young mind, just a glimpse, not too much. And it creates a suspense and a desire to know what happens next. You do a wonderful job depicting your grandfather. There is complexity here. We start to see into the world of each of you.
Those last three sentences. You brought me right inside your young mind, the wondering, the uncertainty, the longing for something to remain unchanged. Looking forward to reading what happens in this setting.
Kimberly says it so well. These personal narrative pieces you’re posting are starting to carry a story forth.
This piece turns in the final lines. We get to see inside your young mind, just a glimpse, not too much. And it creates a suspense and a desire to know what happens next. You do a wonderful job depicting your grandfather. There is complexity here. We start to see into the world of each of you.
I look forward to reading more. . . .
Those last three sentences. You brought me right inside your young mind, the wondering, the uncertainty, the longing for something to remain unchanged. Looking forward to reading what happens in this setting.