Ah yes, relating to all of this. And also the underlying sense of constant “responsibility” to reply, comment or engage. I, too, want to feel a freedom of expression (or lack thereof) over here on Substack and I take comfort in sending that most of us over here want the same. I support you in however you want to show up (or not!) ❤️
I love love love your insightful writing. I've personally been taking a break from reading trauma, as I realized I'd been immersed in it on varying levels for about ... six, seven months? I've been deep in therapy and examining wounds and looking for lights in the dark (how you even started a blog at this time, OF COURSE you did!) that I didn't even know existed. I took breaks from the podcasts I listen to, I unfollowed some accounts that have spoken to me, but now just remind me of trauma. I'm always reading your work, as I didn't know this about you and I love learning more about you.
I'm considering MDMA therapy and ketamine to get into my ish, but I'm hesitant because what if it opens a flood gate that can't be closed, etc, etc.
I'm also reconsidering writing my book, which I did about 13 years ago (reconsider the book I was going to write). But now I'm farther into my trauma and therapy and I've come so far INTO it (just GOING into the deep dark places after so long HIDING it from myself has been so huge), do I stop now only to continue in another 13 years? But maybe it'll be a light in the dark or a buoy in a rough sea for someone else along their journey into their own pain.
You're a light, a buoy. I'm sorry you feel like you're in the dark. Maybe the ones who are beacons just can't see all the light they're surrounded by.
Thanks for this great reminder Christy. I find I have to solidly focus on why I am doing this creative work, hold it softly, front and centre, in my mind and heart. From this place I remind myself to run my own race and anyone who is supposed to find me will do so.
I’d say I accomplish this about half the time, but I keep practicing🤣
It’s great to see you! What an important post. Thank you for sharing from a personal perspective. I find this approach so human, so relatable. Striking a balance, even here where it feels good, can be a challenge.
I 100% agree with everything you said here. This is exactly what happened to me last week and in the sheer chaos of my mind, I couldn't even write one word. I don't know if I have anything to offer yet to overcome this "need" for approval, all I can say is that I see you and am totally with you in this strange and weird way of being. We'll figure it out but first yes, back to that joy of being here to do the thing we first intended to do.
Ah yes, relating to all of this. And also the underlying sense of constant “responsibility” to reply, comment or engage. I, too, want to feel a freedom of expression (or lack thereof) over here on Substack and I take comfort in sending that most of us over here want the same. I support you in however you want to show up (or not!) ❤️
I love love love your insightful writing. I've personally been taking a break from reading trauma, as I realized I'd been immersed in it on varying levels for about ... six, seven months? I've been deep in therapy and examining wounds and looking for lights in the dark (how you even started a blog at this time, OF COURSE you did!) that I didn't even know existed. I took breaks from the podcasts I listen to, I unfollowed some accounts that have spoken to me, but now just remind me of trauma. I'm always reading your work, as I didn't know this about you and I love learning more about you.
I'm considering MDMA therapy and ketamine to get into my ish, but I'm hesitant because what if it opens a flood gate that can't be closed, etc, etc.
I'm also reconsidering writing my book, which I did about 13 years ago (reconsider the book I was going to write). But now I'm farther into my trauma and therapy and I've come so far INTO it (just GOING into the deep dark places after so long HIDING it from myself has been so huge), do I stop now only to continue in another 13 years? But maybe it'll be a light in the dark or a buoy in a rough sea for someone else along their journey into their own pain.
You're a light, a buoy. I'm sorry you feel like you're in the dark. Maybe the ones who are beacons just can't see all the light they're surrounded by.
Um....please also discuss the farmmmmmm!!!!
I am so happy you're here. Please stay.
Thanks for this great reminder Christy. I find I have to solidly focus on why I am doing this creative work, hold it softly, front and centre, in my mind and heart. From this place I remind myself to run my own race and anyone who is supposed to find me will do so.
I’d say I accomplish this about half the time, but I keep practicing🤣
Christy,
It’s great to see you! What an important post. Thank you for sharing from a personal perspective. I find this approach so human, so relatable. Striking a balance, even here where it feels good, can be a challenge.
I love this Christy. Thanks for sharing and for your honesty, I can so relate to your feelings of not feeling good enough.
I 100% agree with everything you said here. This is exactly what happened to me last week and in the sheer chaos of my mind, I couldn't even write one word. I don't know if I have anything to offer yet to overcome this "need" for approval, all I can say is that I see you and am totally with you in this strange and weird way of being. We'll figure it out but first yes, back to that joy of being here to do the thing we first intended to do.