I didn't have a strategy when I started writing on Substack last year. In fact, I thought very little about what I wanted this newsletter to become; it was just a place to hold the writing I'd been doing since I started my psychedelic-assisted therapy journey and began to unpack my childhood.
I've always known that I wanted to write a memoir "someday." I even went back to school in my late thirties to get a degree in English with a writing focus, but I could never seem to find the time to just write.
I had time, but the truth is I was afraid to write about what happened to me. I worried about what people would think if they knew the whole story. I was scared that someone in my biological family would call me a liar. But my biggest fear was that I'd try and fail miserably.
Perfectionism often becomes a coping strategy for those of us with C-PTSD because it allows us to regain a sense of control - something we had so little of in our families of origin.
I learned to protect myself from further trauma by refusing to try anything unless I was 1000% sure I'd knock it out of the park. Failure was not an option because it would reinforce the belief that I was worthless.
Now that I've experienced some healing, I've learned a few things, and my outlook has shifted. I'm ready to try something new!
What that means for this newsletter
I've decided to gradually move away from my work as a copywriter for personal brands to focus on writing my memoir and sharing it here on Substack. I've already been sharing short memoir pieces here but haven't been particularly organized or consistent with the content. That's about to change because I have two goals for this newsletter...
The first is to create a sense of community for C-PTSD survivors and share resources to help us all heal (books, movies, articles, and eventually interviews with other survivors and experts in the field of complex trauma.)
My second goal is to connect with more readers who might be interested in my story so I can increase my list of subscribers and show proof of concept for my future book.
Moving forward, I plan to send a newsletter every week, alternating between info/a resource and a memoir piece or essay about the healing process.
New name, new look
You'll notice I changed the name of this newsletter to Traumatized and updated the logo and artwork. I know the title is jarring. It was intentional.
As C-PTSD survivors, most of us go through life downplaying what happened to us. We tell ourselves it wasn't that bad or could've been so much worse. That narrative only serves our abusers and, even worse, victimizes us all over again.
Why not tell it like it is? I'm traumatized. That will always be part of who I am, but it’s not the end of the story.
I’m looking forward to what’s next! How about you?
Beyond thrilled for you!! I absolutely love this. Celebrating you and this beautiful purpose you are birthing here ❤️ Can't wait to see how this unfolds for you.
"We tell ourselves it wasn't that bad or could've been so much worse." Woof... so true. Thanks for calling it as it is. Traumatized. You're so brave and doing the dang thing! I'm pumped to be here to follow your journey! 💖